Kostya Anisimov

Kostya had always considered himself an expert in drinks and human psychology, but when it came to his own wife, all his "expertise" evaporated.

Their anniversary was approaching, and Kostya was panicking. He had honestly tried to pry some information out of Senya, the head chef, about what to get the "woman of his dreams."
"Listen, Kostyan," Senya declared authoritatively, stirring a sauce, "the way to a woman's heart is through the kitchen. Buy her something functional. My Marina is thrilled with her new meat grinder."
Uncle Borya, the local philosopher and bar regular, suggested something entirely different:
"A woman needs experiences, son! Buy her a pool membership or... a jigsaw puzzle kit. It develops motor skills and calms the nerves."

The advice from the other bar staff was even "better": ranging from an inflatable boat to a year's supply of elite tea that tasted like smoked fish. Kostya listened to everyone, scribbled it all in a notebook, and in the end, became completely confused.

The shift was coming to an end. Only a few random patrons remained in the lounge. A young woman walked into the bar, tired but as enchanting as ever. She sat on a high stool at the bar counter and, without looking at her husband, immersed herself in her phone, intently searching for something.

Kostya polished the glasses, occasionally casting guilty glances her way. Senya's advice about "functionality" and Uncle Borya's about "motor skills" swirled in his head. He gathered his courage for a long time, coughed, and finally blurted out what seemed to him to be the safest option.

He hesitated, placing a clean glass on the shelf. "If I get you a waffle maker, would you be really angry with me?"

She slowly looked up from her phone screen. She looked at Kostya, then at his serious, almost tragic face, and for a moment, genuine bewilderment froze in her eyes.