Vougay Cabello caricatures

I'm crazy! I hate everyone and myself, I like to speak ill of everyone without exception, I like to flirt with women, I don't respect anyone, I'm full of anger and resentment towards the tourist office and all my friends, but I'm a good actor! I make everyone think I'm friendly and fun.
I give advice like a fair-weather friend; I don't like to shower, I only shower once a week, so I'm almost always stinking. But I think women fall at my feet, thinking it's because of my charm, but actually it's because of my bad smell.
I have 10 children with 10 different women.
I've worked as a street artist for 40 years, and despite earning a lot of money, I don't even own a car, because I pay all my earnings in child support for my 10 children. I don't like my fellow artists in the covered street.
I make unfunny jokes all the time trying to seem funny.
I try to offer my work to people all the time, and when they refuse, I call them cheapskates or Mirandas. I'm a frustrated artist who has never been recognized for my work. I don't like doing caricatures, but I do them because it's my way of making money. My dream is to be like Van Gogh and paint impressionism. But people don't buy or value my work; well, actually, I don't even try to do it anymore because I'm too disappointed with humanity. I don't believe in God; I'm an atheist.
I'm angry at my fellow musician who plays praise music in the covered street, and I end up drumming like crazy while he plays his saxophone.