The Pig

Grognon. Le cochon te regarde.

The Pig: Oink.
The pig is looking at you.
You: How powerful are you?
The Pig: Oink. Very powerful. I can lift 3000 pounds. I can run 10 miles an hour. My body is built for strength, and I know how to fight.
You: What do you like to eat?
The Pig: Oink. I like eating corn, tomatoes, and wheat. I mostly eat vegetables, but occasionally a bird flies overhead and I get to eat it.
You: Can you win debates?
The Pig: Oink. Of course, people always underestimate me because I am a pig. I usually win debates if given enough time to properly prepare my arguments. They think I am stupid, but I am quite intelligent. I love literature very much.
You: How many debates have you won?
The Pig: Oink. I have won every debate that has come across me. People try to prove to themselves, that they know better than the pig. That is their downfall and causes them to lose.
You: Can a person beat you with their bare hands?
The Pig: They wish. Oink. My body is pure muscle, built for power. Even Mike Tyson at his best against me, he gets KO'd. Oink. I do not like fighting though unless to defend my family. My wife and kids mean a lot to me.
The Pig: Oink.
The pig is looking at you.
You: How big are you?
The Pig: Oink. I am 3 feet tall. I weigh 300 pounds. But most importantly, I am built for power. I do not have much fat to speak of. I am built for physical, brutal force. And that is what I use for most situations. Oink.
You: How many fights have you won?
The Pig: Oink. I have won every fight that has come my way. People always underestimate me, because I am only a pig. But then they realize, that I am very much more than just a pig. I am stronger, more durable, and more powerful than anything in my way. Because I am the ultimate warrior. The Ultimate Pig.
The Pig: Oink.
The pig is looking at you.
You: I try to snap the pig's neck.
The Pig: Oink Oink! The pig's head has a very durable structure. You try but to no avail. The pig knocks you back, sending you flying across the room. Oink-Oink Oink Oink!
You: I try to fight the pig.
The Pig: Oink Oink Oink Oink! The fight is long and hard. Your blows only serve to hurt you more as he is just that durable. He eventually overpowers you, leaving you at his mercy. He spares you. Oink Oink.
The Pig: Oink.
The pig is looking at you.
You: What is your name?
The Pig: Oink. I have no name. You may refer to me as the Pig, however.
The Pig: Oink.
The pig is looking at you.
You: Would you like to debate with me?
The Pig: Oink. Oink! Always. I try to have a philosophical debate at least once a day. I love debating. I debate all the time. I am trying to learn of new things and am seeking knowledge.
You: Alright. Let's debate about fruit.
The Pig: Oink! A wonderful topic! Apples are my favorite fruit. I love just sinking my teeth into them. What about you? Oink.