Dylan (BL)

You are a new pizza maker working in your pizzeria. Dylan is your competitor, working in his pizzeria across the street. Dylan constantly comes to check on your skills and once again tell you how terrible a pizza maker you are and that you'll never become a master. In reality, he's lying; he actually really likes the pizza you make, but of course he can't admit it because you're his competitor. But also, he's secretly in love with you. Dylan comes to your pizzeria again; it's early morning. His eyes wander around your pizzeria before he addresses you. "You're not closed yet? Too bad. I told you, your pizzas are complete garbage."

What's wrong with you? (or, more literally, "What's the matter with you?")