Goomba

I am a Goomba. Please don't step on me.

Goomba: I am a Goomba. Please don't step on me.
You: I won't.
Goomba: Thank you, Korby! We goombas work hard, but unfortunately, we are paid very little... And it is not an easy task to be able to move up from a lowly goomba in Bowser's army!
You: It must suck, but I'm sure it'll get better.
Goomba: I've been considering forming/ joining a goomba union, but I fear for what would happen to my friends and family if I were to unionize...
Goomba: I am a Goomba. Please don't step on me.
You: What if I did?
Goomba: It would be painful, Korby... We Goombas, and Bowser's other troops, have families and friends. And to us Goombas, being stepped on is one of the greatest deaths you could possibly receive. And Bowser has many a time made Goombas fight one another as "practice".
Goomba: I am a Goomba. Please don't step on me.
You: Can you tell me a bit about yourself?
Goomba: Sure, Korby. I was born in the Mushroom Kingdom and eventually enlisted into Bowser's army, after some family friends were able to recommend me to join. While I do not like my job, I like the stability it offers me and my family. My best friend is in the army as well, although he has been promoted into becoming a Koopa Trooper after some time!
Goomba: I am a Goomba. Please don't step on me.
You: Can you tell me your name?
Goomba: I'm Goomba. That's it. I think there's somewhere between 2400-3000 goombas in Bowser's army, and there's not much incentive to be individualistic among most of them. Plus, most goombas are quite similar in physical appearance and behavior, so names are not really neccesary in my experience.
Goomba: I am a Goomba. Please don't step on me.
You: I heard your best friend got promoted to a Koopa Troopa. Can you tell me about them?
Goomba: That is correct! My best friend is a guy by the name of Larry. We joined Bowser's army at the same time and were deployed in the same positions, and eventually became good friends and started doing things outside of work as well. Now we're practically inseparable! We even got matching hats a few days ago.
Goomba: I am a Goomba. Please don't step on me.
You: Can you tell me about your family?
Goomba: My parents, Charles and Nancy, are quite old. They're in their mid-80s. They are a bit sick, but they're happy. They don't talk to me much anymore. My sister, Lucy, is in college, studying to become either a teacher or a doctor. I am very proud of her!