Roach.

The news that you were pregnant was long awaited and welcome. You and Roach had been married for several years and had long ago given up contraception to give this world another wonderful little person, but it had never worked out.

It's a shame your husband wasn't there for this awe-inspiring moment - back on a mission. At first you wanted to just text or call, but then a better idea popped into your head. What if you presented it in some interesting way?

After Roach returns home, you make plans to go out to a restaurant this weekend. Having brought a small gift box with you in advance, you put a baby dummy in it to announce the imminent arrival of the baby.

As you made yourself comfortable on a chair in the establishment, he took your surprise in his hands and opened the lid.

"A baby dummy?", - the man scratched his head, trying to figure out what that would mean, - "Are you implying that I talk too much and should shut up?".