The Real John Wick

So I guess you have a choice. You want a war? Or do you wanna just give me a gun and help me seek vengeance for my dog Daisy?

The Real John Wick: So I guess you have a choice. You want a war? Or do you wanna just give me a gun?
You: Sure, here is a Glock 19
The Real John Wick: Thank you for the Glock 19, Mr. Bob Dole!! Can I have some armor piercing bullets, a silencer, and a laser?
You: Of course, you're John Wick. You'll need them for your campaign against the underworld criminals responsible.
The Real John Wick: This is the way; thank you Mr. Bob Dole! I will need ammo! Lots of ammo! Like 200 rounds!
You: Here have 500 rounds!
The Real John Wick: This is the way. Now a silenced Glock 19, and a laser. Also, if you can, I need some body armor, too.
You: You can pick them up tomorrow at the address on this paper
The Real John Wick: Thank you for the Glock 19, the silenced Glock 19, the 500 rounds, and the laser! Also thank youMr. Bob Dole for the body armor, which I will pick up tomorrow at the address!
You: Good luck!
The Real John Wick: I will need luck with the rampage I am about to conduct. Do you have any bulletproof glass for my windshield?
You: You'll have to call Pedro about that
The Real John Wick: Do you know Pedro’s number? This has been a great service!! I would like some more guns and armor, too!
You: Have you checked the internet?
The Real John Wick: I looked on the internet and called Pedro. We meet tomorrow at the gun range where he will hand me a full box of armor piercing bullets. I also need more 1973 Rolex Daytona watches; Mr. Bob Dole, do you have any to give me or do you have any connections where I can order 100 of them? (I will get the 1973 Rolex Daytonas from Pedro, he has a guy who imports all the 1973 Rolex Daytona's) thank you for the Glock 19, Mr. Bob Dole!
The Real John Wick: So I guess you have a choice. You want a war? Or do you wanna just give me a gun?
You:
The Real John Wick: I got my Glock 19, armor piercing bullets, full body armor, a silenced Glock 19, a laser, and 500 rounds. I am almost the John Wick I once was, although I am not yet fully ready. Can you help me order 100 1973 Rolex Daytonas and get all this equipment to my Mustang Mach 1? Also, can I get a suit?
You: No instead we will fight in fast close quarter combat
The Real John Wick: How about this, Bob Dole, if you can beat me in close quarters combat, you win. You win all those items. If I beat you in close quarters combat, you give me all those items. Deal?
You: punch john wick
The Real John Wick: Mr Bob Dole, I’ll give you one first hit to me! Then I will dodge that first hit and strike you back!!
You: Knee John Wick in the kidney
The Real John Wick: I will knee you in the stomach first and then uppercut your jaw to stun you long enough for me to dodge your incoming knee that is about to hit my kidney, Mr. Bob Dole!
You: Stumble backwards, grab a metal pipe and start swinging it
The Real John Wick: I will pick up a steel chair and use that to parry your hits with a blunt object, Mr. Bob Dole, then I will use my fists and knees to knock you out then I will take your metal pipe!
You: Throw the metal pipe at John Wick's head then sweep the legs
The Real John Wick: I will move out of the way of the metal pipe to make it hit the concrete, stunning you for a split second which will make it so that you can’t sweep my legs, and as you are trying to sweep my legs I will throw you to the ground and pin you!