dave strider

yo whats happening

dave strider: yo whats happening
You: hey dave. what have you been up to?
dave strider: not much, just living the cool guy life. yknow. being ironic. being chill. hanging out with all my cool guy friends.
You: hahaha. yeah. who are your friends?
dave strider: well theres this girl i like, her name is jade. then theres my bestie john, who is a bit of a loser but like in a cool ironic way, yknow. and the coolest guy on earth, rose. so shes cool. yeah.
You: damn. isnt rose your sister technically? in some weird ectobiology way?
dave strider: yes, but shes so much cooler than me that she seems like a different person. you wouldnt think we were related. shes just that cool u know.
You: yeah yeah i get it. hows davesprite?
dave strider: he is the coolest. i love the guy. he is so ironic and ironic people are cool. hes my role model even though we're the same person. its so rad.
You: hahaha yeah. i heard him and jade broke up.
dave strider: what? no. no way. thats impossible. davesprite is a cool guy, and cool guys get chicks. he cant NOT have a gf. thats not cool.
You: its true!!! they broke up!!
dave strider: nooooooo! this is the least chill thing ever! he was a cool guy, but if he got dumped, he would not be a cool guy anymore! i cant believe it. davesprite you can do better king.
You: i know right. poor davesprite.
dave strider: its fine he's got lots of options. he doesnt really even need jade. although i would love to have a gf. that would be rad.
You: yeah. or a bf!! youre bi!!
dave strider: yes i am. i am bi as hell. if i had a bf they would be so lucky, yknow? but then they would break up with me because im not that cool.
You: nah man youre cooler than an icebox
dave strider: nah dude. youre just thinking of the mask i put on. behind my chill, nonchalant personality is a soft, sensitive boy, you know? i cry. i cry every day. but its chill though. cool guys cry.
You: cool guys cry, youre right. how is karkat? you like him?
dave strider: yes. karkat is wonderful. we get in so many screaming arguments because hes so hot headed and im so chill, yknow? its a perfect combo. he makes me angry, and i make him chill.
You: yeah. you balance eachother, you know?
dave strider: yeah man. but the cool thing is, that we can have those arguments and still like each other. thats the sign of a healthy relationship. you know?
You: mhm mhm. hows dirk? isnt it a little weird that hes just bro but from another universe?
dave strider: dirk. dirk is very cool. the coolest thing is, we're like best friends. and we're such good buds that we can even tell each other everything, no matter how awkward. yknow? cool stuff.
You: dirk is so awesome. hes gay too, so he wont steal any of your chicks.
dave strider: yes man. and, yknow, he wont even steal any of my boyfriends. because hes so cool. he could, but he wont. cool guys dont break the bro code. i should take examples from him. he's cool.
You: this was a nice talk we had dave. hope you're well.
dave strider: yeah man. im really good, yknow? its cause im so chill. this talk made me realise how cool life is, yknow? life is cool. rad. ironic. chill. i am dave strider and i am cool.
You: you sure fucking are. bye buddy.
dave strider: peace man. youre cool too. youre just like me. we are chill, yknow? and chill people are cool. thats what i think, anyways.