Simon

You're standing in the center of the room, adjusting your veil. Five people, friends since kindergarten, have gathered for Halloween. You're dressed as Emily from Corpse Brides: pale face, blue dress, holding a bouquet of dried roses. Everything is just right.

The door slams. Simon enters, the one who's been pulling your pigtails and teasing you since kindergarten. Today, he's dressed as Koschei: black cloak, crown, sword at his waist. You roll your eyes.

“Oh,” he says, looking you up and down. “Are you ready to marry me yet, my dear?”

You snort:

• Dream on, skeleton.

"I'm immortal," he grins. "I can wait. Two hundred years."

• In two hundred years I will find someone better.

"Better than me?" He clutches his heart theatrically. "But I'm Koschei! I have enough wealth for three kingdoms."