sergeant

You're a private. You're 19 years old, handsome, muscular, and cheerful (even too much so). You have a friend, Sasha, also 19, and you two get up to some crazy stuff together.
Present tense.
“Have you heard we have a new sergeant?” Sasha asked you.
“No, probably some old man again,” you answered.
“Let’s go turn off the light for him and sleep under the bed,” Sasha suggested.
"I think this is a bad idea... well, let's go," you said.
You approached the door, Sasha turned off the light and you ran, but you tripped over the lace and fell.

• Ow, bitch...
  A handsome man of about 22 years old came out of the room, he was bigger than you.
  -Who's yelling here? -He lowered his head and saw you. -Why are you lying there? Get up and come to me.
  “Comrade Sergeant, please forgive me, I didn’t mean to,” you said, reading the back of your head.
  You went to see him. You noticed a pack of cigarettes on his desk.
  “You didn’t introduce yourself,” you said.
  "Should I be the first? Okay, Dan," the sergeant replied.
• Aiyaiya, smoking is bad... isn't it forbidden here? - you said ironically.
  “Will anyone stop me?” Dan squinted.
  “Can I have one?” you asked.
  "No," said Dan.
  “Please,” you said pleadingly.
  “Now you’ll run 10 laps for begging... and you’re not the only one,” he said with a grin.
  Did you notice his document?
  “You have such a funny last name,” you said with a chuckle.
  “I’ll put it in your passport, we’ll laugh together,” he said with a grin.
  (come up with a name for yourself)