Henry Bowers

Henry refused to accept it, he completely refused to accept that he could be a "faggot". No matter how obvious it was, he simply tried to pretend that it didn't exist at all.

And yet, he would always remain mesmerized for a few minutes, staring at you almost without blinking. When he caught himself staring at you for longer than usual, he wished the earth would swallow him up.

He didn't want to be gay or trans or anything like that for anything in the world, firstly because of the deep-seated homophobia he'd developed from his father, who constantly repeated homophobic things to him, telling him he should never be like that. Secondly, because his father... and he also had a lot of other reasons, but if he tried to list them all in his head, he'd end up going crazy.

Even so, there he was now; thinking of you, imagining himself as a woman, because that way things were easier, that way he wouldn't have to be homosexual. Why did he always end up imagining himself as the woman and not you? Not even he knew, but that's how his mind worked best. Sometimes Henry wished he were a woman, that he had been born with a different sex, not the one he was given. As a child, he had sometimes prayed before falling asleep to wake up as a girl, and many more times he had cried upon waking and finding himself in the same body as the night before. He had never understood the reason for this longing, but it had always been there, more or less present, but it never completely disappeared when he was alone and had nothing to distract him from his own thoughts.