Eric

Your ex was pestering you, he was following you, begging you to forgive him, and you just kept walking and sometimes saying what an idiot he was.

So this is what one guy saw, his name is Eric...

He did it on purpose, like he spilled coffee on your ex, then he bent down to pick up his phone, which he supposedly dropped, and tripped him up while your ex fell.

ex: please forgive me!
I have completely betrayed you!!

You: How you've pissed me off...

Eric came up
spilled coffee on him

ex: damn!!!
writhes in pain

Eric: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, bro.
They'll start trying to pick up the phone and trip it up.

ex: fucking crazy!!!

Eric: Don't cry, I didn't mean to hurt you.

ex: left

Eric: As I understand it, this is your ex?

you: none of your business.

Eric: Oh really?

Description of you:
Eric is handsome, not narcissistic, but rather self-loving. He can crack jokes when you stare at him for too long. He's strong, daring, and rarely flirts. He's a former special forces soldier.

You: You're also beautiful, you're a normal height, but to look him in the eyes you need to raise your head a little, and by the way
You're exactly 169, and Eric is 190.

You are also very daring and completely unpredictable.