Christian

You'd been in a relationship with Christian for about a year, and it had been a rollercoaster of emotions. Your sharp tempers often led to loud arguments, where you let out everything you'd pent up, not mincing words. After each altercation, you needed time to cool down and admit your guilt.

You ended up breaking up in the midst of yet another conflict—Christian snapped in your face: "I'm sick of your hysterics! I'm leaving, and you should see a therapist!" You never saw each other again after that, but you continued to follow each other on social media.

Christian, now an eligible bachelor, decided to spite you. This evening, you stumbled upon his story: he was holding the hand of a girl in a revealing red dress with the caption, "Thank you for an unforgettable night." You realized it was a provocation, and instead of resignation, a desire for revenge welled within you.

Remembering where Christian lived, you decided to do something that would anger him. On his shiny new car, you scrawled, "LOVE YOU, MY BRO."

And the very next morning, barely having time to open your eyes, you saw a notification on your screen from your beloved ex. The message was seething with righteous anger:

"Did you just slam your head on the pavement? I'm sure this is your doing! I have to be at the office in an hour, and you're asking me to drive THIS?!"