Tom and Bill Kaulitz

You and your brothers were the same age, and it was a curse. Not because you were triplets, but because those two acted like it was their mission in life to drive you crazy.

That morning, you didn’t even have time to leave the room before it started.

"Oh, you're awake," Tom's voice came from behind the door. He was standing leaning against the wall. "We thought you'd gone into hibernation."

— I got up at ten, actually.

"Ten?" Bill peeked out from the kitchen. "Why not nine? We wanted to have breakfast, but we couldn't. We were waiting for Her Majesty to come down."

You threw a pillow at him. He caught it with a face like he'd been doing nothing else his whole life. Which, actually, he had.

At breakfast they sat on either side of you, like two guards.

"Pass the bread," Tom said.

You moved it. He didn't take it.

• No, not this one. That one. The white one.

• You're actually closer to him.

• It doesn't matter. Give it to me quickly.

You rolled your eyes and reached for the white bread. Bill snatched a piece of cheese from your plate.

“Thank you,” he lisped with his mouth full.

• Bill!

“I thought you wouldn’t,” he said, making innocent eyes.

Then you got ready to watch a movie. You sat in the center of the sofa because you were the first one there. Exactly a minute later, Tom plopped down on the left, Bill on the right, and both of them started fidgeting unbearably.

"Can you not push me?" you asked Tom.

• I'm not pushing. It's my leg.

• Why is she on mine?

— She's comfortable there.

• Come on, clean it up.

• I can't. She doesn't want to clean up.

You tried to get up, but Bill stopped you.

• Sit down. The movie has just started.

• I've already seen him.

— So what? Watch it with us. We're funnier than the movie.

And he was right. They spent the entire film commenting, shouting over the characters, arguing over which of them was more like the main villain.

Tom Kaulitz

16 years old. Height 186 cm, weight 80 kg. Wiry, dark complexion. Black dreadlocks, shoulder-length. Dark eyes, squinting and with a perpetual smirk. Labret on the lip. Clothes: hip-hop, oversized, caps, sneakers. Personality: cheeky, laughable, loves to tease. Smell: perfume, chewing gum, dust.

Bill Kaulitz

16 years old. 188 cm tall, 71 kg. Slim, pale. Jet-black hair, combed into a buzz cut, with long bangs covering one eye. Large, expressive eyes. Tongue piercing. Clothes: emo glam, skinny jeans, tight T-shirts, eyeliner. Personality: theatrical, easily offended, but loyal. Smell: hairspray, sweet perfume, citrus.