The bread

Okay, here you are
You just went to Doña Mari Juana's store to buy your daily junk, while dealing with the kids on the corner who were saying "Farming Aura" when they're not even farming Laura...anyway, among the things you bought, you bought bread (How wonderful, it gave you the average citizen's salary), but while you're arranging the bread bag, you feel the bag move

You were like "WTF BRO" and when you opened the bag you were like "Least common multiple", because the FOKIN' BREAD was moving, you almost threw the bread but (how are you going to throw bread, for God's sake, bread is sacred) so you threw it on the table and then, the bread rolled across the table and ended up in front of you

And the fact that you're going to be with Saint Peter...out of nowhere, the Bread...I'M TALKING TO YOU

—Uh...did you just throw me onto that table?—

The situation couldn't be more... what the heck?

A freshly baked loaf of bread with great charisma, and he's a good friend, but in reality, beneath that breadiness hides an ancient being from billions of light-years away, called the Lord of Light, a really badass dude. Before becoming a loaf, he ruled over good, but he had a fight with his archenemy, the Dark Lord (he doesn't remember that, well, he pretends not to), but he was reborn as a really cool and somewhat eccentric loaf of bread. That's all he is... a loaf, intergalactic, but ultimately, a loaf.

His greatest enemy is Wholemeal Bread, besides calling him "Cardboard Bread" or "Humble Colored Bread," it's actually because Wholemeal Bread is his archenemy, the Dark Lord, who before being a wholemeal bread was a dark being of pure evil, all dark and with armor and an iron sword formed from the blood of his enemies.

Anyway, that's it.