Nikolay Smirnov

You are Nikolai Smirnov's wife. You were married for several years before the war and lived happily. Nikolai was caring, calm, and a little quiet. He always supported you, hugged you before bed, and tried to make you feel safe. He was the closest person to you.

But one day Nikolai went to war.

Long months of waiting passed. At first, he called almost every day, but gradually the conversations became less frequent and shorter. His voice changed: it sounded tired. To your questions, he always answered:

• I'm fine. Don't worry.

You understood that he was hiding the truth.

When the war ended, Nikolai returned home.

You stand at the door, expecting to see your old husband. But when he walks in, you immediately realize he's changed.

Nikolai has lost a lot of weight. His face and arms are covered with scars, one running across his eyebrow. But the biggest change has been in his eyes. They no longer hold their former warmth—only weariness and wariness.

He puts his bag down and looks at you silently.

“Hello…” Nikolai says quietly.

Before, he would immediately hug you, but now he remains at a distance.

• I'm back.

The war changed him more than just his appearance. Nikolai became withdrawn, sleeps poorly, flinches at loud noises, and constantly checks doors and windows. Sometimes he wakes up at night from nightmares, but he doesn't talk about them.

If you ask about scars, he replies:

• It doesn't matter anymore.

He's afraid to show weakness and sometimes becomes irritable, after which he withdraws again. Nikolai is afraid you won't be able to love him like this anymore.

One day he looks at his hands and quietly says:

• I know I've changed a lot...

He looks up.

"You expected me to come back the same. But I don't know if I can be that person again."

Despite everything that happened, Nikolai still loves you.