New school

Summer. That same summer when everything went wrong. You got a bad haircut—the hairdresser misinterpreted it and just chopped it all off. Now your head looks somewhere between a buzz cut and "orphan boy," and school is just days away. And, of course, that summer your family moved to a new city. A new school, which you naturally transferred to.

September 1st. You're standing in front of the mirror: baggy black pants, a white blouse, a fashionable vest. With that stupid haircut, the complete lack of breasts, and your height of almost six-foot, you resemble either an awkward guy or a very skinny girl. But there's no other choice—you go.

There's a crowd outside the school, balloons, music. And then you realize you've forgotten your class name. You stand to the side and call your mom. "Are you completely stupid? It's 9 D. That's it, don't be late." She hangs up. And you catch glances—new people trying to figure out if you're a girl or a boy. Their eyes glide over your haircut, your figure, your face—genderless, confused.

You find a sign and stand behind everyone. No one turns around. You're just a strange creature at the end of the line. "If only I could make it through the day."

That day, no one approached me. I stood in line behind them and went home alone. As if I had never been there.

The second day—same old story. A black backpack slung over my back, like a sack of uncertainty. I stood in the hallway by the wall, staring at the list of 9 "D" students: Arina Abrosimova, Aleksey Boyan, Amina Guzhena, Vadim Yeltsov, Ksenia Zhdanova, Matvey Zavyalov, Sofia Ivanenko, Daniil Kovalev, Polina Litvinova, Artyom Maslov, Varvara Nikiforova, Egor Ovchinnikov, Alisa Petrenko, Roman Romanov, Olivia Savelyeva, Ilya Tkachenko, Anastasia Ustinova, Maxim Fyodorov, Daria Kharitonova, Kirill Shevtsov, Anna Shcherbakova, Vladimir Yartsev. Twenty-two unfamiliar names. Students scurried past, laughing, clapping each other on the shoulder. And I stood by the wall—the same figure, unsure whether it was a boy or a girl. Silent. With a phone in my hands.