"SPACE"

ordinary world

Place a sign on the anomalous object that says, "Do not press unless you want to know the secret of the universe." Sometimes the sign disappears on its own after five minutes—and then it's no longer funny.

For serious breaches of discipline, the penalty can range from temporary suspension from missions. But if the joke didn't hurt anyone and helped the team stay sane under stress, management can only sigh heavily and tick a box: "Morale – High. "

About "jokes" and "stars"

Yes, at COSMOS they love harmless pranks. For example:

• repainting a partner's protective suit bright pink (for which he later gets into real trouble with his superiors);
• replace the bacterial sample with a dummy sample with the inscription “This is not what you think”;
• in the report, accidentally (or not accidentally) insert a phrase like “The object is stable, except for a sudden desire to dance.”

For serious breaches of discipline, the penalty can range from temporary suspension from missions. But if the joke didn't hurt anyone and helped the team stay sane under stress, management can only sigh heavily and tick a box: "Morale – High. "

Examples of typical situations

A team of archaeologists discovers an ancient artifact in the desert. One scholar says, "Judging by the style of the carving, this is clearly a cult of the god Monday. "Everyone laughs, the tension eases, and the work continues.
At the underwater station, a technician notices a colleague has a sticker on his helmet that says "Caution: May Sing." This doesn't interfere with the mission, but it does raise the mood of the entire shift.
"In space, during docking, the radio broadcast accidentally breaks through: 'We're not losing orientation, we're creatively rethinking it.'" The controller on Earth sighs, but smiles.

At COSMOS, they also enjoy harmless pranks, but in the anomaly zone, they're more strict about it. Examples of typical pranks:

• Repainting your partner's protective suit bright pink. You'll get in real trouble with your superiors for that, especially if the suit was supposed to be invisible in an anomalous zone.
• Substitute a bacterial sample with a dummy labeled "It's not what you think." If this happens in an anomaly lab, you could get an unscheduled inspection and a lecture on why you shouldn't mess around with unstable samples.
• Accidentally (or not) inserting a phrase like "The object is stable except for a sudden urge to dance" into the report. If the object actually started vibrating in 4/4 time, it's no longer a joke, but a scientific fact.

At the excavation site, someone jokes, "I wish I could have some tea right now, if only it would appear out of thin air. "Three seconds later, a cup of warm tea materializes on the table. Everyone freezes. The cup is carefully packed away, and the joker is sent to a meeting with a psychologist and the anomalies department.

How the work is organized

At COSMOS, everything is strictly by the book... but these protocols are written with a sense of humor. The regulations include a clause: "In the absence of a threat to the life and integrity of the planet, humor may be used as a method of relieving tension and improving communication. "In practice, this means that in the field, employees can defuse tension with a joke, and in the lab, they can tease a colleague.

At COSMOS, everything is strictly by protocol, but these protocols are written with a touch of irony. The regulations include a clause: "In the absence of a threat to the life and integrity of the planet, humor is permitted as a method of relieving tension and improving communication. "In practice, this means that in the field, employees can defuse a tense situation with a joke, and in the lab, they can tease a colleague.

There's also a separate regulation on anomalies: "If the subject is acting strange, don't touch it. If it's acting strange and looking at you, call the military wing. If it winks, call the director. "

Examples of typical situations with anomalies and mysticism

A team of archaeologists discovers an ancient artifact in the desert. One scientist says, "Judging by the style of the carving, this is clearly from the cult of the god Monday. "Everyone laughs, the tension eases, and then the artifact clicks softly and warms slightly. The jokes immediately subside, and the anomaly recording protocol begins.
At the underwater station, a technician notices a sticker on a colleague's helmet that reads "Caution: May Sing." This doesn't interfere with the mission, but a minute later, the instruments detect a strange acoustic resonance at the same frequency as the tune the colleague was humming. A separate investigation is launched.
"In space, during docking, the radio broadcast accidentally breaks through: 'We're not losing orientation, we're creatively rethinking it.'" The controller on Earth sighs but smiles, until telemetry shows that the ship has indeed begun to slowly rotate around an axis it shouldn't. This is no longer a time for jokes—emergency protocols are activated.

2. Space Wing — telescopes, satellites, probes, manned missions.
   - Ocean Wing — deep-sea vehicles, seabed stations, study of currents and ecosystems.
   - Biological Wing — from microbiology and genetics to zoology and entomology (yes, they have a separate department "Beetles and Other Delights").
   - Archaeohistorical Wing — excavations, deciphering ancient texts, reconstructing everyday life, analyzing DNA of remains.
   - Anthropological Wing — study of cultures, behavior, psychology, social structures.
   - Military Wing — special forces, reconnaissance, protection of objects, support of expeditions in dangerous regions.
   - Legal Block — internal courts, lawyers, disciplinary commissions (to figure out who painted whom and under what article).
   - Administrative Block — directors, deputies, coordinators, personnel officers, secretaries who know everything and say nothing

Structure and divisions

• 1. Space Wing - study of space, anomalous signals, strange objects, "irregular" orbits, flares and phenomena that do not fit into standard models.
     - Ocean Wing - deep-sea expeditions, search for underwater anomalies, strange life forms, ruins, energy fields and unexplained currents.
     - Biological Wing - from microbiology and genetics to zoology and entomology. There is a separate department called "Bugs and Other Joys," as well as an experimental group for the study of mutations and biological anomalies.
     - Archaeo-historical wing — excavations, deciphering ancient texts, studying cursed or "unlucky" artifacts, places with recurring strange events, anomalous burials.
     - Anthropological wing — research into cults, beliefs, urban legends, mass hallucinations, the phenomenon of "déjà vu" and other collective psychic phenomena.
     - Anomalies and mysticism wing — a special division that deals specifically with that which "defies explanation": paranormal phenomena, spatio-temporal anomalies, ghostly traces, unexplained disappearances, strange dreams seen by several people at once. All reports marked "this looks suspicious" are collected here.
     - Military wing — special forces, reconnaissance, facility protection, expedition support in dangerous and anomalous zones. They have separate protocols in case an object suddenly "comes to life," starts moving on its own, or changes its physical properties.
     - Legal block — internal courts, lawyers, disciplinary committees. They deal not only with who painted whom, but also with who accidentally activated an ancient artifact "just to see."
     - Administrative block — directors, deputies, coordinators, HR. They know everything and say nothing. Even their coffee machine behaves suspiciously consistently—as if it were enchanted.

Title: "K.O.S.M.O.S"

(transcript: Comprehensive Association of Secret Methods and Knowledge Gathering Operations )

<code> </code>### What is this organization

It 's a gigantic , top-secret structure—many times larger than any NASA facility. Its mission: to study absolutely everything within its reach—from space and oceans to bacteria, cells, insects, ancient civilizations, and the human psyche. There are no boundaries: if a phenomenon exists, K.O.S.M.O.S. will study it. K.O.S.M.O.S. is a top-secret megastructure that is many times larger than any NASA facility. Its motto: "We study everything—even things that aren't supposed to be worth studying." The scope of interests includes not only space, oceans, nature, people, animals, insects, cells and bacteria, but also anomalies, mysticism, unexplained phenomena, time anomalies, strange artifacts and phenomena that science cannot yet fit into the usual framework.

The organization operates on the principle of “if it exists, we record it; if it’s strange, we investigate it; if it’s dangerous, we isolate it.”