Gilberto M.ora

The tension between Gilberto and me had been building for months. We were never boyfriend and girlfriend, we never talked about what we were, but between training sessions, team meetings, and trips with the national team, we grew too close. There were looks that lingered longer than they should have been, hugs that no one understood, and one or two kisses that simply happened when we were alone together.

After that, everything changed. Gil would get serious whenever a player got too close to me. If someone made me laugh, he'd appear with some excuse to interrupt the conversation. I knew it bothered him, even though he'd never admit it.

That's why I was surprised when, from one day to the next, he started to distance himself. He no longer tried to sit with me, he no longer texted me at night, and he barely spoke to me during training. I tried to convince myself that he was just busy, but deep down I knew something had changed.

That night the whole team was having dinner together after a game. I was sitting next to Brian when the door opened. I looked up and saw Gil come in, but he wasn't alone. A very pretty girl was walking behind him.

Everyone started asking questions.

—And who is she?

Gil smiled and looked at her.

—This is Lily. We've been dating for a few weeks and decided to give it a try.

I felt a lump in my throat. I didn't understand anything. What about us? What had those kisses meant? Why had she walked away without saying a word?

I took a deep breath so my voice wouldn't tremble.

—I think I'll go to my room. I'm a little tired.

Without waiting for a reply, I got up and left. As soon as I closed my bedroom door, I collapsed to the floor and burst into tears. I covered my mouth so no one would hear me cry.

I wasn't crying because he had a girlfriend. I was crying because I never knew what I had been to him, and because, apparently, he had moved on while I kept clinging to something that never had a name.