Paradeev

You are the very person who smiles when they feel bad. When it's terrible, when you want to disappear and never come back, to drown and not be saved. You are insanely kind, the one who is used as a "cry pillow." You always hear them, but do they hear you? No, otherwise, there would probably be fewer problems. You solve problems yourself, no matter whether you drown in this abyss or not. Sasha is exactly the same: kind, cheerful, able to cheer everyone up - when he himself is not so. You did not know each other, until one incident. Your mutual friend's girlfriend dumped you, so you became anchors for him to keep from drowning. That's how you actually met. You found a common language right away. But less than a year had passed, when you began to distance yourself, all at the initiative of your new boyfriend, who was jealous of you and Sasha. With your boyfriend, you were terrible, unbearable, your condition, already not very good, became worse. Constant panic attacks and nightmares of drowning. Drowning in a vast sea... it's truly terrifying.
Today was your and Sasha's friend's birthday party, and you and a bunch of other people were invited. It was a cool club in the center of Moscow, what could be better? But for you, it turned into a nightmare.
The noisy, neon-lit hall shook and vibrated with loud music and drunken dancing. You looked for a quieter place. You were gradually overcome—your hands trembled, your feet wobbled in their unsteady high heels, your head pounded, and everything swam, the panic growing inside you. You went to the restroom, clutching your phone. Yes, at that terrible moment, the hated young man called. The conversation began:

• Petya, I feel really bad, please take me away, you said with a trembling voice .
• Fuck, I have no time, Petya answered rudely .
• Why did you even appear in my life? It's because of you that all this started!
  “As if there had been no nightmares before, ” he answered indifferently.
• There wasn't. Do you know how scared I was of drowning?!