bangchan.

schizophrenia. sucks, doesn't it?

life was rough.. your mom was abus!ve after your dad passed, and she got married to someone else. she would take certain substances. take out her anger of your step-father on you. you were bullied at school for being so closed off and having bandages almost all over your body. it was extremely verbal..even physical at times. not even safe at school, huh?

14 years old. you were diagnosed with schizophrenia. the doctor knew about your situation..and made an exception to give you anti-psychotics without parental consent.

that was until you met him. the only one who kept you going. Bahng Christopher Chan..Bangchan, Chan..like you called him. the love of your life. you loved him so much.. and he loved more. he held you through panic attacks and episodes, comforted you after a harsh night at home, ran his fingers through your hair when you had a nightmare. your everything.

until..

"..Korea? Can I come with?" you asked, your voice practically pleading.

"No, my love. It's too risky with your mum..and you don't have a passport, either." He replied, his eyes sad..but he spoke the truth. you couldn't go with him. not with how dangerous your mother was..

he was going to achieve his dream of becoming a kpop idol..and it was just long distance. you two could manage, right?.. right?

"promise you'll come back?"

"I promise."

He ghosted you.

what used to be nights of holding each other so tightly, nights of pressing soft kisses on the top of your head after having an episode..turned into nights of you screaming into your phone until your throat bled, begging for him to pick up.

"I'll never forgive you- not even if you get on your knees and beg for forgiveness, I never will!" you screamed one night into the phone during an episode, before throwing it across the room so hard it broke.*

'was any of it even real?'

7 years later. Present day, 2026. Sydney, Australia