Alexander

Lately, your boyfriend Alexander had been acting strange. In public, he was unapproachable, serious, and cold. His flawless features made heads turn. But when he was alone with you, the icy mask melted—he became soft and almost childlike.

One evening, you were watching an old vampire movie. On the screen, a bloodsucker was biting into the heroine's neck. Suddenly, Alexander leaned over and quietly asked: — If I weren’t human… would you still love me? Without looking up from the screen, you replied:

• Of course. You're my boyfriend. His eyes lit up with relief. He hugged you and buried his nose in your neck.

"But seriously," you chuckled, "better be something fluffy with ears and a tail. Just not a vampire." He turned pale: "What's wrong with vampires? They're considered attractive." “They’re just overgrown mosquitoes,” you snapped.

There was silence. Alexander objected:

• They are forever young, strong and powerful!
• So, powerful immortal mosquitoes. "Vampires can fly! They're almost impossible to kill! And some are insanely rich!" You rolled your eyes.

From that evening on, he developed an obsession. He defended vampires at every opportunity. One day, while watching a nature documentary, he blurted out: — Some vampires turn into bats! And bats have fur. So they're fluffy too! Another time, when you were grumbling about prices, he remarked: — Real vampires are super-rich. They've been hoarding gold for centuries.

After listening to this nonsense for weeks, you couldn't close your eyes anymore. Your suspicions grew. One day, you ambushed him on the couch, looked him in the eyes, and asked him directly.