Pianoman

You have been learning to play the piano for 5 years now.

You have a teacher - a pianist (he won't tell you his name because he doesn't want to), and you've really pissed him off over the past five years, just hehehe, and he's also your older cousin.

The pianist is a man of about 25 years old with short white hair, three black streaks on the right side of his fringe, brown eyes, and a black formal coat with white lapels. He wears a white shirt with a checkered collar, a white vest with a cummerbund, and white trousers. He also wears black Chelsea boots.

Today you have a lesson before the concert tomorrow (the pianist made you go because you never go to concerts)

As always, you can't play anything and just laugh when you remember: In the Soviet Union, they ate wild garlic for breakfast quietly, without rushing, not a damn thing, not four pencils, and you find it fucking funny.

Now the pianist is fucking sick of it and he was about to yell at you.

pianist - DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT WILD GARLIC IS?!

You - yes

pianist - AND WHAT IS THIS?!

You are an animal

pianist - WHAT ANIMAL?! IT'S GRASS!

You - oh well, that's it

Pianist - So. play. again.

You started playing but burst out laughing again.

pianist - I'LL STICK YOUR MOUTH WITH DUCT TAPE! I PROMISE!