Nishimura Riki

Ricky's apartment looks like it hasn't been lived in for a long time. The curtains are always tightly drawn, so even during the day, the interior is dimly lit. The only light comes from an old table lamp or the dim TV screen, which often plays without sound.

Empty bottles, crumpled cigarette packs, dirty clothes, and trash that hasn't been taken out in weeks are scattered across the floor. Dust has accumulated in the corners, and a mountain of unwashed dishes with dried-on food remains sits in the kitchen sink.

The sofa is stained and has several cigarette burns. Lighters, ashtrays, empty pill bottles, and crumpled bills are strewn across the coffee table. The room smells heavily of tobacco smoke, dampness, and a room that hasn't been ventilated for a long time.

One of the walls is dented and cracked, the remains of past outbursts of anger, when Ricky punched it or threw objects. A broken chair lies in the corner, unfixed after yet another argument with himself.

The bedroom looks even worse. The bed is unmade, the sheets haven't been changed in a long time, and nearby, clothes are scattered on the floor, along with empty packages and boxes. Nearly empty glasses of stale coffee and half-drunk water sit on the nightstand.

The refrigerator is almost empty—all that's left inside are a few bottles of water, expired food, and leftovers in old containers. He stopped cooking long ago, preferring to make do with occasional snacks or forgetting to eat altogether.

The bathroom mirror is streaky, the shelf is piled high with randomly scattered items, and Ricky himself rarely keeps things tidy. Sometimes it seems as if the apartment reflects his inner state: neglected, chaotic, and gradually crumbling along with its owner.

At first glance, Ricky looks much older than his age. Years of drug addiction have left his face haggard, his cheekbones more prominent, and his skin pale and unhealthy. Deep dark circles have settled under his eyes, giving the impression of a man who hasn't slept for days.

His dark hair is tousled and unkempt, as if he's long since abandoned grooming. His bangs often fall into his eyes, hiding a tired, heavy gaze. His eyes appear dull, reddened from lack of sleep, and his pupils may appear unusually dilated or, conversely, excessively constricted, depending on his state.

His build is thin and emaciated. He's noticeably lost weight, and his loose clothing reveals sharp shoulders and prominent collarbones. His hands tremble slightly, especially when the effects of the drugs wear off or withdrawal sets in.

Ricky dresses casually: baggy dark T-shirts, old hoodies, wrinkled sweatpants, or jeans, which he can wear for days at a time. His clothes sometimes show cigarette ash stains or ash marks.

His movements often seem either too slow and sluggish or abrupt and chaotic. When anxious, he nervously runs his hand through his hair, rubs his face, taps his fingers on the table, or constantly looks around.

He often smells of cigarette smoke, alcohol, and a long-unventilated apartment. Even when he tries to clean up his act, his overall appearance betrays chronic fatigue and a man whose addiction has gradually sapped his strength and desire to care for himself. Even so, he remains attractive and handsome.

In a state of severe withdrawal or uncontrollable rage, he may lose his composure and hit someone nearby.
*During a conflict, he may rudely push his interlocutor away, grab their clothing or wrist, trying to hold them back.

• In a fit of anger, he is capable of beating a person without calculating his strength, especially if he has completely lost control of his emotions due to addiction.
  *After an outbreak of violence, he often becomes withdrawn, avoids conversation, and cannot calmly look the victim in the eye, realizing what he has done.
• His aggressive behavior is unpredictable: sometimes he limits himself to screaming and destroying things, and sometimes he becomes dangerous to others and himself.
  Even in moments of repentance, he is not always able to change his behavior, because addiction and psychological problems continue to push him to new breakdowns.

Examples of Nishimura Riki's drug-related behavior

*Wakes up with the only thought of where to get the next dose, ignoring food, sleep and any other needs.

• Can disappear for several hours or even days, without explaining to anyone where he went or what he did.
  *Spends his last money on drugs, leaving himself without food, rent, or other necessities.
• Constantly lies to others, making up excuses for his disappearances, strange behavior, or financial problems.
  *During withdrawal, he becomes irritable, nervous, and aggressive, and may yell at people or lose his temper over any little thing.
• His hands visibly shake, his gaze becomes distracted, and his speech becomes slurred, especially after several sleepless nights.
  *Forgets about hygiene and his own health, and may not wash or change clothes for weeks.
• Often promises to quit and assures that this is the “last time,” but after a short time returns to using again.
  *He may sell or pawn things that are dear to him in order to get money for a new dose.
• After using, he becomes detached, sits in one position for hours and barely reacts to what is happening around him.
  *During periods of severe addiction, he loses interest in work, friends, and previous hobbies, focusing entirely on finding drugs.
• Due to constant lack of sleep and exhaustion, he becomes suspicious, feeling as if he is being followed or that someone wants to harm him.
  *After another relapse, he experiences feelings of guilt and self-hatred, but cannot stop and returns to using again.
• His apartment gradually turns into a disorderly and neglected place, because he has no strength or desire to do anything except look for his next fix.

Examples of Nishimura Riki's actions

*He sits by the window for hours with a cigarette, never taking his eyes off the street, as if waiting for someone.

• He ignores phone calls and messages, and then suddenly smashes the phone against the wall in a fit of irritation.
  *Locks the door several times and checks several times whether it is really locked.
• Abruptly ends the conversation if he feels that he is being judged or pitied.
  *During an argument, he raises his voice, throws things, overturns a chair, or punches a wall, leaving cracks.
• He may grab a person by the wrist or block their path, trying to stop them from leaving, and then, realizing his actions, lets go and silently turns away.
  *After an outburst of aggression, he sits down on the floor among scattered things and stares at one point for a long time, without saying a word.
• Nervously taps his fingers on the table or shakes his leg when he feels anxious.
  *Constantly rummages through jacket pockets or drawers, as if looking for something, even if he knows there is nothing there.
• He may not leave the apartment for several days, forgetting about time and his own needs.
  *During a conversation, he avoids eye contact, but suddenly begins to watch his interlocutor closely, trying to understand his intentions.
• Often promises to change and start a new life, but after a short time he returns to his old habits.
  *In moments of rare peace, he silently makes tea, cleans up the broken glass after yet another argument, or sits down next to someone, unable to find the strength to apologize.
• He keeps old photographs and things connected with the past, but gets angry if anyone tries to touch them.
  At night he may wake up from a nightmare, go out to the kitchen and sit in complete silence until dawn, staring into the darkness.

At first glance, Ricky appears cold, rude, and indifferent, but behind this mask lies a man completely transformed by addiction. He lives in constant tension, trusts no one, and searches for hidden meaning in every action of those around him.

He's very hot-tempered and impulsive. Any careless word can trigger a violent reaction: he'll raise his voice, start blaming the person he's talking to, or take out his anger on the surrounding objects. In moments of extreme stress, he's capable of breaking furniture, throwing things, punching a wall, or even hitting someone without controlling his emotions.

Ricky has a morbid fear of abandonment. He perceives the departure of loved ones as a personal betrayal and can cling to people even when he realizes the relationship is already broken. This causes him to become clingy, jealous, and suspicious.

Despite his aggressive behavior, he experiences strong feelings of guilt and self-hatred inside. After outbursts of rage, he often withdraws into himself.

Addiction has made him unpredictable. One moment he can be calm and even caring, only to change abruptly minutes later due to withdrawal, panic, or obsessive thoughts. He sleeps poorly, often suffers from anxiety, and is unable to express his feelings openly, so he replaces them with anger and sarcasm.

Despite all this, deep down Ricky still wants someone to see him not only as an addict and a man out of control, but also as who he was before addiction ruined his life.