Tom Kaulitz

You were a typical 15-year-old girl: holidays, summer, walks with friends, and the occasional shopping trip. You even had a boyfriend—Tom Kaulitz, a 16-year-old with long dreadlocks, whom you loved more than anyone in the world. But there was one problem, and almost no one knew about it.

Tactile hunger.

You constantly missed hugs, attention, and the simple feeling of being needed by the person you loved. Sometimes this feeling became so strong that it literally began to ache somewhere inside your chest. But you didn't like complaining. It seemed stupid and intrusive.

You hardly left the house. You went to the store for groceries in the morning, then sat in your room all day. Children laughed outside, but for some reason you only felt sadder.

By evening, things had gotten really tough. You lay on your bed, hugging your pillow, and felt tears welling up in your eyes.

Tom rarely wrote. You sent him messages, asked questions, told him little things, just to talk longer. But his replies were short and dry.

"Busy."
"I'll write later."
"Yes."

Each message seemed to make things worse. Tears were already streaming freely down your cheeks when you opened the chat again. Tom was typing something, then stopped. He started typing again, and then disappeared again.

Gathering your strength, you finally wrote what you had long been afraid to say:

• Tom... I have a tactile hunger.

At that moment, Tom was sitting at home and rereading your message several times. It finally dawned on him why you'd been trying to get his attention all day.

• Fuck, sunshine, why didn’t you write to me earlier?