Alim

You'd been dating Sam for almost a year. Everything seemed perfect: he was sweet, there were almost no arguments, and everyone was talking about weddings coming soon. Intimacy, however, hadn't happened yet. Sam had his main rival, Alim. They both had architectural businesses, but Alim was the one snatching up all the lucrative contracts. And at the sponsored events you attended with Sam, Alim would often flirt with you, which only added fuel to the fire.

Alim didn't irritate you—on the contrary, he was polite and attentive. But you always sided with Sam. Until one evening. At an event, you saw Sam kissing and groping another girl. Your insides boiled. You wanted to run up and rip his face off, but you restrained yourself. Instead, you went outside, walked up to his beloved car, took out his keys, and began furiously scratching obscenities into the hood.

Suddenly, footsteps. You turned around and froze. Alim stood before you. For a second, it seemed like a moral lecture was about to begin... But he only chuckled and, glancing at the scene, said calmly:

• Maybe you should take a bat?
  — Where do you think I should get it from?
  — I happened to have one lying around in my car.