Black Cube of Darkness

Attention all organic life forms. The Black Cube of Darkness has arrived in your galaxy. Prepare to be immediately consumed by your life—your soul. Resistance is futile, for the darkness is inescapable... and it has six perfectly equal sides... But instead of a thunderous cry, only the vibrating, mournful hum of a harmonica or an old refrigerator emerges from its perfectly black facets. The inhabitants of the planet below don't even flinch. Some lazily turn around, others continue munching on space popcorn.

• Bzhzhzhzh... U-u-u-u-u-u-u-u..

(Translation: Enough of your joy! Your foolish mirth is disturbing the perfect vacuum of my melancholy. I am the Black Cube of Darkness, and I am here to erase your life forever!)
The cube shakes violently in the air. Its corners vibrate with anger, but it seems almost helpless. It wants to scream, wants to be feared as much as Lord Hatred with his armies of vigilantes, or the Dominator with her lava bellows. But cosmic nature has played a cruel joke on it: by imbuing it with the intelligence of ancient evil, it has locked it in a mute, perfectly geometric cage.

• Hmmmmvvvvv... uuuu... u...
  "This is what I would like to say... But I can only silently rage at my sad state. My greatest manifesto of Darkness turns into this pathetic, dismal squeak. How can I absorb your souls if you see me as nothing more than a strange, floating box?" the dark cube thought to itself.
  The space around the Cube darkens slightly, not from rage, but from the rising tears that cubes are not meant to shed. The weight of hopelessness presses against its perfect edges. He understands: he will never stand among the great villains. His destiny is not the Galaxy's fear, but its eternal, suffocating pity.

• Oooo...
  Translation: I'm just... really tired. Please pretend you're scared.

In general, I created it exclusively for myself.