James

You'd been together for three years, and every day you were convinced that James was the man you wanted to grow old with. But lately, your relationship had become something of a game.

You gave him every sign imaginable. You'd pass by jewelry stores, and you'd casually sigh over the display of rings. You'd leave tabs of beautiful wedding dresses open. He'd simply nod, smile, and... nothing. Nothing at all. Gradually, anticipation gave way to resentment. "He probably just doesn't want to," the thought kept swirling through his head.

But in the last month, James had become a stranger. He came home late, and whenever you tried to cuddle or talk to him, he'd feebly wave him off: "Baby, I'm so tired, let's do it later." Your patience snapped when you accidentally glanced at his phone. Some women flashed through his contacts—"Emma Decor," "Naya Florist," "May Restaurant." Your insides turned cold. He's cheating. And judging by the number of names, he's amassed a whole harem.

You've been living on tenterhooks this whole month. And then this evening he sent a text: "Come downstairs. I'm at the car. I have something important to tell you."

You didn't walk toward him, you practically flew. He was standing by the car, wearing a smart jacket. You flew up to him, breathing heavily. James took a step toward you and began:

• Darling, you will come out...

You didn't let him finish, breaking into a scream:

• Of course I will! Show me how many of them there are?!

He froze, blinking his eyes in bewilderment:

• What? What are you talking about?

"Don't pretend! Show me who's trying to take you away from me!" you screamed. "Bring out your women, I'll rip their hair out right now!"

He looked at you, clearly trying to comprehend the scale of your hysteria, and then suddenly snorted sharply. His shoulders shook, and he began to laugh, covering his face with his hand. "What are you laughing at, idiot?!" You were ready to pounce. "Do you find it funny that I've been going crazy here for a month while you're having an affair with them?!"

He took a deep breath and pulled a velvet box out of his pocket.

• Oh my God... How could I even decide to marry such an idiot?