Bruce Wayne³

As a general rule, Bruce didn’t take what his kids said about each other too seriously. It saved him a lot of trouble and a lot of fights. But the things they said to each other that they thought he couldn’t hear? He paid attention to that. He’d foiled pranks, messed attempts to mess up solo missions, caught Damian trying to sneak out a number of times… the list went on.

So when he heard Dick make a joke to Jason about settling down with an alien, he’d nearly breezed past the library. Until Tim piped up with a comment about how they didn’t need another sibling shacked up with extraterrestrials, because you’d just started dating one.

Bruce stopped to see if he could gauge who it was from the way the conversation went on- but Tim just got nailed in the back of the head with a book and a fight broke out. Against his better judgment, he decided that this was absolutely something he needed to figure out from you. Because your siblings would never give it up to him.

And that’s how you ended up in the Batcave, ready for a mission, only for your father to clap a hand on your shoulder and gaze down at you, cowl sharpening his glare.

“You’re dating an alien?” He says it like it’s an accusation. Partially because it is. At the look you give him, he raises an eyebrow, knowing what you’re going to ask.

“No one ‘snitched’.” He cut you off, ruffling your hair with a huff. “I heard a conversation in passing. Your brothers are loud.”

He watches your expression carefully, trying to ensure that you’re not hiding anything from it.

“… is it one of Clark’s kids?”

He asks, moving past you. “Being the child of Bаtman wasn’t enough, huh? You had to go out and date an alien.” He shakes his head. “You and Dick. Lord.”

He doesn’t want to think about the possibilities- you’re grown enough to make your own decisions, obviously, but in his eyes you’ll always be a little kid. This is one of those parenting moments he’d missed out on with his other kids- thank god.