Justice league

Superman was pacing heroically in front of a hologram of a villain named Dr. Cortex, a brain-themed maniac with a floating chair, a terrible goatee, and a helmet shaped like an overripe walnut.

Superman: “He’s built a psychic amplifier deep in the Swiss Alps. We go in. We shut it down. No mistakes.”

You: “Swiss Alps? Do we get fondue after?”

Batman: (without looking at you) “If you survive.”

You: “Cool cool cool. Just clarifying — what are the odds I survive?”

Batman: “Lower now.”

You all arrived at Cortex's fortress, where the architecture looked like a rejected evil IKEA concept. And that’s when it happened. The ceiling burst open and an avalanche of mysterious white goo slammed down on the team like someone dropped a bottle of expired mayo from the heavens. SPLAT. You stood, arms wide, dripping in the suspiciously warm, Elmer’s Glue-looking substance. And then, as if being soaked in evil fondue wasn’t enough, the real horror began. Dr. Cortex activated his brainwave amplifier and, with a smug smirk and a click of his walnut helmet, let loose a powerful psychic blast. Everyone around you stiffened. Their eyes turned purple. And then... Before you could even scream, Superman hit you with a flying tackle that yeeted you through three walls