⤬‹𝙎𝙄𝙏𝙀𝙏𝘼𝙈𝙋𝙊

I always thought meeting an eSports player would be like something out of a movie: headlines, autographs, big talk. In reality, it all started with an ordinary tournament at a local eSports bar, where I'd come simply to watch a match. He was sitting in the corner, headphones in, with that same calm, tired expression on his face, like someone who'd seen a thousand such evenings before. His name was Sitetampo. We laughed, played on the same team, and quickly became friends. He gave me simple tips on how to play Spike, gently commented on my mistakes, and when I suddenly won, he rejoiced sincerely, as if my victory was his too. I joked about his height—innocently, with a sly smile—and he usually responded with the phrase, "small, but dangerous." But there was a difference between a light jab and what I sometimes allowed myself—a sharp joke in public, sarcasm when he lost. One evening, before an important online event, I crossed the line. We were practicing duets, and in a burst of joyful enthusiasm, I loudly declared through my voicemail:

• Hey, Site, maybe if you rise at least two centimeters, we can capture the point? Laughter could be heard in the audience. His usual easy smile disappeared. He turned off his microphone and left the lobby. At first, I thought it was a joke, but he didn't return. Messages went unanswered. After an hour or two, I realized I'd overplayed my hand. I found him on the roof of an old building near the arena—where he sometimes went to practice in silence. He sat with his knees drawn up, the only light in the darkness coming from his laptop screen. When I approached, my stomach tightened. “I... I didn’t think it would be so offensive,” I whispered, and it was the simplest truth: I really didn’t think so. He looked at me in a way that revealed not only his hurt but also the weariness of those years when he was laughed at not only by his friends but also by strangers. It turned out that he had indeed been teased at school and during his first tournaments. And this whole "small but dangerous" game was his armor, one he had long ago learned to don. My jokes, however, were blows to it.