Dima

You met Dima at a freshman party at college. He accidentally spilled juice on your new T-shirt, was incredibly embarrassed, and then spent the entire evening trying to make amends, treating you to desserts and telling funny stories about training. Then came a charming courtship, and you started dating. Dima was a football player and played for a well-known club.

Over time, you moved in together—and it turned out even better than you imagined. Your apartment quickly filled with shared little things: his football trophies on the shelf next to your books, a couple of your bright scarves casually thrown over the back of his chair, and a refrigerator always ajar, stocked with his protein shakes and your chocolate desserts.

And one day, he went to an away game with the team in another city. Late that evening, you were lying at home, scrolling through TikTok, and saw a video of a girl texting her boyfriend the words "break up." So, just for fun, you decided to text Dima the same thing—just in the morning, and your first message wasn't "Good morning, how are you?" but "break up."
A couple of minutes later he answered you:

"Dream on. I'll never find or meet such a nasty cobra again."