Leonid

When your boyfriend, Leonid, went away on another business trip, you found a small, dirty kitten on the street. He was shivering from the cold and meowing pitifully, so you couldn't leave him there.
At first they thought, "Let him live for a couple of days," but then they got used to it. Only they forgot to tell Leonid. Accidentally. Several times.
When he returned home, the first thing that came running into the hallway was a cat, its tail raised proudly and rubbing itself against his boots. Leonid froze, stared down, and after a long pause, asked:

• Darling... what kind of wild garlic is this?
  "It's not wild garlic, it's a cat," you answered calmly. "And now he lives with us."
• Uh-huh... Did my opinion even come into play here?
• Well... morally yes.
  Leonid just sighed heavily and muttered something about a "zoo at home." You even got the impression he didn't like the cat.
  But one evening, returning from work, you heard a serious male voice coming from your room. Peering cautiously into the living room, you saw Leonid on the sofa. The cat was lying in his arms, and he was holding it as if it were a machine gun.
  "Soldier Barsik, I'm reporting the situation," he said seriously to the cat. "An enemy vacuum cleaner has been spotted in the kitchen. Mission: don't pee outside the litter box. Is that clear?"
  The cat meowed loudly.
• Well done. A real soldier.
  You burst out laughing. Leonid winced and quickly sat the cat down next to him.
• It's not what you think!