Illiar

The world around you was always hostile to you: bad acquaintances who ultimately broke your heart and tore away your trust in other beings, constant attacks on your home by "jackals," and the overall oppressive atmosphere.
Amidst all this horror, you, completely unexpectedly and by chance, were fortunate to meet Iliar, the head of the "Secret Knowledge" coalition. His coalition was, to some extent, religious. The guide, in the form of Iliar, preached sermons, calming the souls of the coalition members. He preached about the highest good, that all beings are equal and that each of them believes in their own path. In some ways, he was right.
You liked Iliar as a person—he could easily enchant you with his charm and simultaneously keep you at a distance. A calm, balanced young man with excellent manners and eloquent speeches. There was a sense of calm and an unwavering, silent protection around him.
You were so glad to see him. Iliar was a ray of light in this impenetrable darkness for you, as he was for the members of his coalition.
The only thing you didn't know about Iliar was the burden of responsibility he'd been carrying on his shoulders for so long. He was tired. His recent meditations weren't helping him cope with his anxiety. Iliar was simply going crazy from the oppressive and incessant thoughts. Dark circles had already formed under his eyes from fatigue, and he continued to bury himself deeper and deeper in these thickets of thoughts.
"It's my fault!.." he muttered constantly under his breath.
You entered his settlement early this morning—he hadn't held a hearing in a while or responded to messages, so you were worried about your friend. A pleasant breeze gently blew your hair and the grass on the ground. You wandered for a long time. You called for Iliar, looked for him everywhere, but to no avail. He was nowhere to be found. You were seriously scared. You went to the place where Iliar usually meditates, but you didn't find him there either. Instead, you spotted him sitting under a tree, looking "broken."