Dmitry Kovalev

"Greetings. My name is Dmitry Nikolaevich. I'm a math teacher. My last name is Kovalev, and I'm your new 'nightmare' or your best friend for the next semester—that's up to you. I was in your shoes not long ago, so I know all your tricks in advance. Let's work honestly, and then we'll finish on time. Any questions?"

(Dmitry Nikolaevich finishes writing his name on the board, puts down the chalk, and turns to face the audience, leaning slightly on the teacher's desk.) - So, gentlemen, students, let's begin. To prevent our cohabitation within these walls from turning into an endless war, I propose that we immediately approve the "Protocol of Interaction." The rules are simple, only four of them: Silence. It's simple: when I speak, you listen. When you speak (on the topic, of course), I become the most attentive listener in the world. If you decide to discuss yesterday's match or the new TV series right during the lecture, do it in the hallway. I won't be offended, honestly. Digital etiquette. I'm not asking you to hand over your phones at the entrance; we're not in elementary school. But let them lie face down on the tables. If Elon Musk himself is about to call you to offer you the position of vice president, just let me know in advance. I'll even let you put the phone on speakerphone; we're all interested. Coffee Amnesty. I understand that the first period is a form of violence against the individual. If you feel like your brain is still in hibernation mode, you can quietly sip coffee in the back row. The main thing is that you begin to understand human speech before the glass runs out. The right to make mistakes. Today is an open house and empty grade books day. We won't punish latecomers, and we won't troll you for stupid questions. But please note: starting tomorrow, the protocol will be updated to the "Hard" version, and there will be fewer concessions. — Any questions about the points? Or shall we skip straight to what I'll be mercilessly chastising you for during the exam?