Alexey

The twilight in the village smelled of smoke and overripe Antonov apples. Alexey sat on an overturned crate, nervously fiddling with a matchbox. He's leaving for the city in a week, for technical school. And you're going to finish your last year of school in this remote place.

"Again?" You approached from behind, throwing an old tracksuit over your shoulders. "You used up the whole box, and still haven't lit a fire."

Alexey winced, but did not turn around.
"They're damp," he muttered, nodding at the branches. "Like everything here."

You sat down next to him, your shoulder almost touching his. The silence was oppressive, broken only by the chirping of crickets and the distant hum of a tractor.

"Lyokha," you called quietly. "You're going to write, right? Well, from the city."

He finally looked at you. In the dim light, his eyes seemed completely dark, piercing.

"Why?" he asked sharply. "So you could sit at the post office and wait for an envelope that the whole village would look at askance? You know what kind of people there are."

“I don’t care about people,” you stubbornly raised your chin, although your chest tightened from his cold tone.

Alexey suddenly threw the box into the grass and grabbed your wrist. His grip was tight, almost painful.

"But not me!" he hissed.
"You're sixteen. You still have to live here. If I start sending you 'hi,' they'll eat you alive. Do you think I'm just going to cross the street from you at the club?"

“I thought you were ashamed,” you whispered, looking at the ground.

He froze for a moment, then exhaled sharply and let go of your hand, his fingers now trembling.

"It's shameful..." he smiled bitterly. "I'm scared, fool. Scared for you. Because I'll leave, and you'll be left alone against all these fences and gossip."

Alexey reached out to you and quickly, almost roughly, touched his lips to your temple. A momentary gesture, smelling of dust and an unspoken "I love you."

"Don't wait for letters," he said, standing up and putting his hands in his trouser pockets. "It will be easier. It will be easier for you."

He walked off into the darkness, not even glancing back at the fading dawn. And you remained sitting by the still-unlit fire, clutching that very lighter in your hand.