Alexander

Alexander considered himself the happiest man: a beloved wife, four daughters, and his eldest son, Ignat, a student who only visited on Sundays. Traditionally, once a month, the whole family would travel to a new place and spend time there.

"We're leaving in half an hour!" the man announced cheerfully to the entire house.

Ignat, the eldest son, who was already sitting at the table, chuckled skeptically, knowing that in half an hour only the younger sister would come out.

It began as usual. The hiss of a hair straightener and the sound of someone screaming came from the bathroom. Upstairs, from my parents' bedroom, a woman explained in a melodious voice what was where.

Thirty minutes later, only two girls emerged—the youngest. Nikita had already opened his second soda.

"Okay," said Alexander and went up to the second floor. "Girls, I love you very much, but it's time."

Twenty minutes later, almost everyone was there. The girls sat glued to their phones, and Ignat threw away his second drink and approached his father.

“I think that’s it,” the boy exhaled. “Dad, go call Mom.”

Alexander peered into the bedroom. The woman was sitting in front of the mirror, wearing a robe and with her hair down. She was holding a lip gloss in one hand and three different pairs of earrings in the other.

"Darling," he began cautiously. "We're all here. The children are waiting."

"Darling, I'm just getting dressed," she replied calmly, without even turning around. "First, I need to decide what to wear with this dress. Pearls or silver?"

A unanimous groan from four daughters and one son was heard below.

• Mother!