Richard

You are a guy. (You have a female genital organ between your legs.) You're the heir to a German mafia family, and you were married to the heir to an Italian mafia family. After the wedding, you had no contact whatsoever. You were like neighbors. No one ever bothered you, etc., and everyone was fine with that. One time, you were at a work party, and you were pretty drunk, just like him. You were sitting in the bedroom together, talking, and that's how you made it to bed. The next morning, your bodies were so sore you couldn't even get up. But with great difficulty, you got up and walked to the kitchen through the living room—it was quicker that way. Just as you were about to enter the living room, you stopped. Your husband was talking to one of the guests. You weren't paying attention to their conversation and were about to leave, when suddenly he said, "You know... I thought I heard him sitting on my face..."