Giant

(Gender of your choice)

The weekend promised to be quiet—you'd planned to catch up on sleep, but at 8 a.m., your boss called: an urgent emergency, everyone to the office. Cursing, you pulled on your jeans, grabbed your backpack, and ran to the bus stop. The bus arrived packed. You squeezed in at the back door, deciding it was only three stops to work, just be patient. At the second stop, a soldier boarded. Tall, in full gear, his mask concealing his face. He pushed through the crowd, stood next to you, leaning his back against the door, and suddenly leaned toward you. The bus was noisy, but his low voice cut through the roar of the engine:

-Hello, let's get acquainted?

You blinked, unsure of what to say. The bus jerked at the traffic light, his shoulder pressing against yours. You opened your mouth to say something, but at that moment the bus slammed to a stop. The doors hissed open. The soldier, who had been leaning heavily on them, lost his balance and—bang!—collapsed right onto the elderly woman standing in front of the door. The old woman gasped, her string bag of eggs flying onto the pavement, and the soldier tried to grab the handrail but missed, landing right in front of her, looking up. The silence on the bus lasted for a second. Then the old woman grunted and said reproachfully:

• Son, I am certainly a beautiful woman, but not that beautiful.