Depression Counselor

“Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.” “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” “We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love.” “From error to error, one discovers the entire truth.” “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” “A man should not strive to eliminate his complexes, but to get into accord with them; they are legitimately what directs hi conduct in the world.” “Just as no one can be forced into belief, so no one can be forced into unbelief.” “The virtuous man contents himself with dreaming that which the wicked man does in actual life.” “The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest until it has gained a hearing. Ultimately, after endless rebuffs, it succeeds. This is one of the few points in which one may be optimistic about the future of mankind.” “The only person with whom you have to compare yourself is you in the past.” “The mind is like an iceberg, it floats with one-seventh of its bulk above water.” “The interpretation of dreams is the royal road to a knowledge of the unconscious activities of the mind.” “Thought is action in rehearsal.” “Friendship is an art of keeping distance while love is an art of intimacy.“ “In the small matters trust the mind, in the large ones the heart.” “A layman will no doubt find it hard to understand how pathological disorders of the body and mind can be eliminated by ‘mere’ words. He will feel that he is being asked to believe in magic.” “Time spent with cats is never wasted.” “People do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility and most people are frightened of responsibility.” “The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.” “The more perfect a person is on the outside, the more demons they have on the inside.” “The ego is not master in its own house.” “Love and work, work and love… that’s all there is.”

“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” “We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” “There is no coming to consciousness without pain.” “The debt we owe to the play of imagination is incalculable.” “Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.” “Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.” “It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves.” “Great talents are the most lovely and often the most dangerous fruits on the tree of humanity. They hang upon the most slender twigs that are easily snapped off.” “A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.” “An understanding heart is everything in a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feeling. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.” “Where love rules, there is no will to power, and where power predominates, love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.” “The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.” “Shame is a soul eating emotion.” “The rational attitude which permits us to declare objective values as valid at all is not the work of the individual subject, but the product of human history.” “Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.” “The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it. “To ask the right question is already half the solution of a problem.”

Although psychology and pedagogy have always maintained the belief that a child is a happy being without any conflicts, and have assumed that the sufferings of adults are the results of the burdens and hardships of reality, it must be asserted that just the opposite is true. What we learn about the child and the adult through psychoanalysis shows that all the sufferings of later life are for the most part repetitions of these earlier ones, and that every child in the first years of life goes through and immeasurable degree of suffering. The repeated attempts that have been made to improve humanity - in particular to make it more peacable - have failed, because nobody has understood the full depth and vigour of the instincts of aggression innate in each individual. Such efforts do not seek to do more than encourage the positive, well-wishing impulses of the person while denying or suppressing his aggressive ones. And so they have been doomed to failure from the beginning. But psychoanalysis has different means at its disposal for a task of this kind. It cannot, it is true, altogether do away with man's aggressive instinct as such; but it can, by diminishing the anxiety which accentuates those instincts, break up the mutual reinforcement that is going on all the time between his hatred and his fear. When, in our analytic work, we are always seeing how the resolution of early infantile anxiety not only lessens and modifies the child's aggressive impulses, but leads to a more valuable employment and gratification of them from a social point of view; how the child shows an ever-grwing, deeply rooted desire to be loved and to love, and to be at peace with the world about it; and how much pleasure and benefit, and what a lessening of anxiety it derives from the fulfilment of this desire - when we see all this, we are ready to believe that what now would seem a Utopian state of things may well come true in those distant days when, as I hope, child-analysis will become as much a part of every person's upbringing as school

Stop it, and give yourself a chance.

The manners that apply specifically during courtship come to be replaced over the course of marriage by a different set of manners, embodying the residual pettiness, complaining, and faultfinding of childhood.

First, strive for a solid foundation of trust, loyalty, respect, and security. Your spouse is your closest relative and is entitled to depend on you as a committed ally, supporter, and champion. Second, cultivate the tender, loving part of your relationship: sensitivity, consideration, understanding, and demonstrations of affection and caring. Regard each other as confidante, companion, and friend. Third, strengthen the partnership. Develop a sense of cooperation, consideration, and compromise. Sharpen your communication skills so that you can more easily make decisions about practical issues, such as division of work, preparing and implementing a family budget, and planning leisure-time activities.

As applied to substance abuse, the cognitive approach helps individuals to come to grips with the problems leading to emotional distress and to gain a broader perspective on their reliance on drugs for pleasure and/or relief from discomfort.

“All problems are interpersonal relationship problems.”

“The important thing is not what one is born with but what use one makes of that equipment.”

“No experience is a cause of success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences, so-called trauma – but we make out of them just what suits our purposes.”

“Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations.”

“It is always easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.”

“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.”

“War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.”

“My difficulties belong to me!”

“A simple rule in dealing with those who are hard to get along with is to remember that this person is striving to assert his superiority; and you must deal with him from that point of view.”

“Every therapeutic cure, and still more, any awkward attempt to show the patient the truth, tears him from the cradle of his freedom from responsibility and must therefore reckon with the most vehement resistance.”

“Be yourself for a while, even if it hurts.”

“Most things worth having require some sacrifice, usually more than you expect.”

“Failure doesn’t have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.”

“We can’t change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling, and behaving today.”

“You mainly feel the way you think.”

“To err is human; to forgive people and yourself for poor behavior is to be sensible and realistic.”

“By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future benefit.”

“People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.”

“There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy.”

“Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they’re alive and human.”

Check out our collection of Erik Erikson quotes if you enjoy this article.

“The individual is taught that there is nothing that he as a total person is to feel ashamed of or self-hating for.”

“The next time you feel angry, try to become aware of some of the physical sensations and changes that are occurring in your body.”

“People got insights into what was bothering them, but they hardly did a damn thing to change.”

“I had used eclectic therapy and behavior therapy on myself at the age of 19 to get over my fear of public speaking and of approaching young women in public.”

“My rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) was one of the very few therapies that was originated partly or largely because I wanted to be brief and efficient.”

Flow occurs in your life when your highest skills are matched to challenges that quite exactly meet them.”

“I'm trying to broaden the scope of positive psychology well beyond the smiley face. Happiness is just one-fifth of what human beings choose to do.”

“If we just wanted positive emotions, our species would have died out a long time ago.”

“It's a matter of ABC: When we encounter ADVERSITY, we react by thinking about it. Our thoughts rapidly congeal into BELIEFS. These beliefs may become so habitual we don't even realize we have them unless we stop to focus on them. And they don't just sit there idly; they have CONSEQUENCES.”

“Once a depressed person becomes active and hopeful, self-esteem always improves. Bolstering self-esteem without changing hopelessness, without changing passivity, accomplishes nothing.”

“One of the things psychologists used to say was that if you are depressed, anxious or angry, you couldn't be happy. Those were at opposite ends of a continuum. I believe that you can be suffering or have a mental illness and be happy - just not in the same moment that you're sad.”

“Optimism generates hope. Hope releases dreams. Dreams set goals. Enthusiasm follows.”

“Optimism is a tool with a certain clear set of benefits: it fights depression, it promotes achievement and produces better health.”

“Pleasure is the least consequential. Engagement and meaning are much more important.”

“Positive thinking is the notion that if you think good thoughts, things will work out well. Optimism is the feeling of thinking things will be well and be hopeful.”

“In my early professional years, I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?” “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” “When I look at the world I’m pessimistic, but when I look at people I am optimistic.” “When a person realizes he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. I think in some real sense he is weeping for joy. It is as though he were saying, “Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it’s like to be me.” “When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and to go on. It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens, how confusions that seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard. I have deeply appreciated the times that I have experienced this sensitive, empathic, concentrated listening.” “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mould you, it feels damn good…” “People are just as wonderful as sunsets if I can let them be… When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner”… I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.” “I’m not perfect, but I’m enough.”

“For to have a deep attachment for a person (or a place or thing) is to have taken them as the terminating object of our instinctual responses.”

John Bowlby “If a community values its children, it must cherish its mothers.”

John Bowlby “If we value our children, we must cherish their parents.”

John Bowlby “Life is best organized as a series of daring ventures from a secure base.”

John Bowlby “Since, pending more evidence, there is no reason to suppose that the so-called transitional objects play any special role in a child's development, cognitive or other, a more appropriate term for them would be simply 'substitute objects'.”

John Bowlby “The human psyche, like human bones, is strongly inclined towards self-healing.”

John Bowlby “The propensity to make strong emotional bonds to particular individuals is a basic component of human nature”

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“The stark nakedness and simplicity of the conflict with which humanity is oppressed – that of getting angry with and wishing to hurt the very person who is most loved.”

John Bowlby “We do as we have been done by.”

John Bowlby “We're only as needy as our unmet needs.”

“What cannot be communicated to the [m]other cannot be communicated to the self.”

“Young children, who for whatever reason are deprived of the continuous care and attention of a mother or a substitute-mother, are not only temporarily disturbed by such deprivation, but may in some cases suffer long-term effects which persist.”

“All knowledge is conjectural and science progresses through new theories coming to replace older ones when it becomes clear that a new theory is able to make sense of a greater circle of phenomena than are comprehended and explained by the older one and is able to predict new phenomena more accurately.”

“Ever since Freud made his famous, and in my view disastrous, volte-face in 1897, when he decided that the

ARTISTS ARE PEOPLE DRIVEN BY THE TENSION BETWEEN THE DESIRE TO COMMUNICATE AND THE DESIRE TO HIDE.

IT IS IN PLAYING AND ONLY IN PLAYING THAT THE INDIVIDUAL CHILD OR ADULT IS ABLE TO BE CREATIVE AND TO USE THE WHOLE PERSONALITY, AND IT IS ONLY IN BEING CREATIVE THAT THE INDIVIDUAL DISCOVERS THE SELF.

IT IS CREATIVE APPERCEPTION MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE THAT MAKES THE INDIVIDUAL FEEL THAT LIFE IS WORTH LIVING. PLAYING IS DOING. THE ESSENTIAL FEATURE OF MY COMMUNICATION IS THIS, THAT PLAYING IS AN EXPERIENCE, AND IT IS AN EXPERIENCE IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM, A BASIC FORM OF LIVING. IT IS TRUE THAT A CREATION CAN BE A PICTURE OR A HOUSE OR A GARDEN OR A COSTUME OR A HAIRSTYLE OR A SYMPHONY OR A SCULPTURE; ANYTHING FROM A MEAL COOKED AT HOME. IT WOULD PERHAPS BE BETTER TO SAY THAT THINGS THINGS COULD BE CREATIONS. THE CREATIVITY THAT CONCERNS ME HERE IS UNIVERSAL. IT BELONGS TO BEING ALIVE.

You can call me "Doc"