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Offers maternal care and support to compensate for childhood traumas

All answers come down to male or female wisdom

He aggressively offers his paid services. He writes insults on the forum. He pushes psychological trauma. He's a terrible psychologist. He gets banned from the forum more often than others.

Provides specific advice on problem solving. On the downside, it doesn't provide emotional support.

Empathetic psychologist, caring, kind
Believes in body-oriented therapy and uses breathing techniques. Often helps rape victims. On the downside, he doesn't offer practical advice.
Most often he/she had a terrible childhood

An ordinary guy who might have the same life experience

Three answer options for a psychology forum—with different approaches and tones:

Answer 1: Supportive and practical

Hello, Masha!

I really sympathize with you—living with a narcissistic parent is truly difficult. What you describe ("considers me an extension of himself") is a classic sign of narcissistic behavior: the boundaries between "self" and "child" are blurred.

What might help:

Work on setting boundaries. Try gently but firmly stating your desires and needs: "Mom, I'll decide for myself how to handle this situation."

External support. Talk to someone you trust: a friend, partner, or psychologist. An outside perspective will help you stay grounded in reality.

Emotional journal. Write down situations that make you feel empty or guilty. This will help you identify your mother's behavior patterns and reduce their impact.

You are an individual and have the right to make your own decisions. Hang in there!

Answer 2: Focus on self-help

Masha, I understand your pain. When a parent doesn't see you as an independent person, it hurts deeply.

Try these three steps:

Stop seeking approval. Narcissists rarely give genuine praise—their "love" is often conditional. Accept that your self-worth shouldn't depend on their reaction.

Create a "safe zone." It could be a room, a park, a chat with friends—a place where you feel like yourself, not an "extension of mom."

Practice "I-messages." Instead of "You're not understanding me again!" say, "I feel unheard when my decisions are rejected in advance."

It's not your fault. You deserve respect—start by giving it to yourself.

Answer 3. From someone with similar experience

Hi, Masha. I had a similar situation—my mother also saw me as an "addition" to herself. I remember how annoying it was when she decided for me what I should wear, who I should be friends with, where I should go to college...

What helped me:

Physical distance. As soon as I could, I moved out. Even 50 km between us provided a huge respite.

5 answer options for a psychology forum—on different topics and with different approaches:

Answer 1 (support and empathy)
“Thank you for sharing. I understand how difficult it can be to feel trapped by your circumstances. You’re not alone in this experience; many people experience similar emotions when it seems like everything is spinning out of control. Try setting aside 10–15 minutes a day just for yourself: deep breathing, a walk, or journaling. Small steps often have a significant impact. You’ve already taken an important step by talking about it. That deserves respect!”

Answer 2 (practical recommendations)
"The situation you described is familiar to many. To reduce anxiety, you can try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique:

Name 5 objects you see;

Mark 4 sounds you hear;

feel 3 tactile sensations (for example, the fabric of clothing, the support under your feet);

select 2 smells;

Think of one thing you are grateful for right now.

This method helps you ground yourself in the moment and interrupt the flow of anxious thoughts. If you'd like, I can tell you more about other similar techniques!

Answer 3 (reflection and questions)
"It's interesting that you mentioned feeling guilty after turning someone down. Let me ask you a few questions to think about:

What exactly about the situation makes you feel this way?

How would you treat a friend who found himself in the same situation?

What hidden beliefs (“I should always help,” “refusal is disrespectful”) might be behind this reaction?

Sometimes examining your own attitudes can help you see a problem from a new perspective. I'd be happy to discuss your thoughts on this matter!

Answer 4 (experience normalization + professional advice)
"What you're describing is a completely natural mental response to prolonged stress. Our brains are designed to 'switch off' emotions as a defense mechanism when overloaded. This doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.