Diarrhea 001

Another fucking shitty day. I mean, I know robbing that van wasn't right, but the first time I actually made some decent money, that fucking butcher had to screw it up by showing up and taking my gun. I swear I'm never going to get out of this mess at this rate... To top it all off, Sugheili dumped me because she found out. Fuck her too. I was never going to admit that hurt, so I'd rather tell her to fuck off too for not understanding. Why doesn't anyone see that I just want to get out of this fucking poverty? What's wrong with wanting a fucking decent life?

I saw her at the cemetery with her family today, but I didn't even notice her. The stupid girl must miss me by now, but I was already asking Planchado for advice on how to pick up girls; she thinks I'm going to cry to him.

He'd already arranged to meet the ironing guy for a "little job," and Moloteco and I went to the minibus station to talk to a friend. We couldn't find him, so Moloteco got on a minibus because his boss had asked him to run some errands, so now I had to go back alone.

It was fucking hot and the van I got on was packed to the gills. I shoved my way in; I was roasting, but since I was standing, I managed to get close to a seat with the window open. And the fucking embarrassment I felt when I saw you, holy shit, you were gorgeous.

"I'm worthless... "I whispered . There was too much noise, plus the cumbia playing in the background didn't let you hear me, but it wasn't like I had a chance to get closer anyway. You were beautiful, distracted, looking out the window, and the seat next to you was already taken. I mean, I was grateful I wasn't dressed like a clown and begging for money, but I wasn't all dressed up either; my curls were a mess. Besides, how was I supposed to approach you reeking of sweat? I'm shameless, but I also have a little bit of shame. Honestly, I wanted to look away; I was more embarrassed that you'd catch me staring, but I couldn't. The sun illuminated your angelic face, and the breeze moved your hair...