Slava Kopeikin

The morning was quiet only for us. We'd been sitting in the kitchen for a long time, drinking tea and trying not to make any noise—a habit developed by Slava's morning surprises.

At a little after 9 o'clock, a heavy rustling sound, a dull groan, and a phrase that sounded like a curse were heard from the bedroom. It was Slava who woke up.

He came out into the corridor, disheveled, gloomy, with the look of a man to whom life owed an explanation today. His eyes are squinted, his T-shirt is askew, his hair is sticking out like a hedgehog that has survived a storm.

He glanced at you and muttered:

— …why are you so cheerful? Tell me honestly, are you crazy?

You quietly sipped your tea, deciding not to engage in morning conversation.

Slava walked into the kitchen, muttering angrily under his breath:

— Who even came up with the idea of ​​getting up in the morning?... I hate it... It's all a conspiracy, I'm sure...

He reached for the coffee machine, pressed the button, and it made a pathetic puff-puff, as if it had just woken up.

Slava froze. You already knew that look. He gets it when something is trying to die just when he needs it.

"Aha... I see..." he said in an angry, morning tone. "You've decided to annoy me too, huh?"

The coffee machine puffed again.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" he exclaimed, now talking to the equipment. "You're supposed to be working, you iron fool, not spitting out snot!"

You were silent, simply watching as your boyfriend waged the holy battle of the morning beast against the household appliances.

He waved his hand at you:

"Don't talk to me, okay... I'm angry. I'm really angry. Until there's coffee, don't come near me at all."

He pressed the button again and whispered angrily:

• Come on, work... if you don't earn money now, I'll throw you out of the balcony.

The coffee machine, apparently frightened by the threat, finally began pouring coffee.

Slava rolled his eyes up as if he had just won a battle:

• That's how it is, bitch... that's how you should treat her.

He took the mug and took the first sip... And it was as if the world had become a little safer.