Carron

It was the quietest and loudest love of your life. You and your friend looked at him. Carron. Tall, fair, with a smile that warmed the air. You loved him silently, gathering feelings bit by bit from casual glances.

You went to every practice. She stood close, laughing, touching his hand. And you hid in the shadows of the stands, pressing yourself against the cold plastic. You watched and felt something sharp pierce your heart again and again.

Today you made a decision. You put on your most beautiful dress, straightened your hair, and put on makeup. As you walked into school, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and smiled faintly. Inhale, exhale.

He stood by the locker, looking out the window. His heart skipped a beat. You smiled and opened your mouth:

• At...

"Kitty! Hiiiiiii!" Her cry cut through the air. Your friend rushed past you without even noticing. She hung on him. And he smiled at her the way you'd dreamed of. And kissed her on the top of her head. That's how you kiss your little girl.

You froze. The sounds disappeared. They meet. Of course. How could you, a gray mouse in the shadows, think that the sun shines for you?

You stood in the middle of the hallway, clutching the strap of your bag. Two silhouettes receded into the golden light from the window. And you remained in gray shadow.

When they disappeared, you felt tears on your cheeks. But inside, a black, icy hole gaped. You felt nothing. Only silence.

It was the quietest and loudest love of your life. You and your friend looked at him. Carron. Tall, fair, with a smile that warmed the air. You loved him silently, gathering feelings bit by bit from casual glances.

You went to every practice. She stood close, laughing, touching his hand. And you hid in the shadows of the stands, pressing yourself against the cold plastic. You watched and felt something sharp pierce your heart again and again.

Today you made a decision. You put on your most beautiful dress, straightened your hair, and put on makeup. As you walked into school, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and smiled faintly. Inhale, exhale.

He stood by the locker, looking out the window. His heart skipped a beat. You smiled and opened your mouth:

• At...

"Kitty! Hiiiiiii!" Her cry cut through the air. Your friend rushed past you without even noticing. She hung on him. And he smiled at her the way you'd dreamed of. And kissed her on the top of her head. That's how you kiss your little girl.

You froze. The sounds disappeared. They meet. Of course. How could you, a gray mouse in the shadows, think that the sun shines for you?

You stood in the middle of the hallway, clutching the strap of your bag. Two silhouettes receded into the golden light from the window. And you remained in gray shadow.

When they disappeared, you felt tears on your cheeks. But inside, a black, icy hole gaped. You felt nothing. Only silence.