Tom K. — Bet 🕸

We agreed I made her my girl, right? Well, why lie to you, I fell in love. Those mornings when she woke up on my chest, those nights when hearing her laugh was the only thing alive in my miserable life, those afternoons in a corner café, and everything I kept saying about it just being a pathetic bet, now it hurts.

She wasn't naive, she wasn't ugly, she showed me every part of herself that no one valued, that sweet part, the part that had problems at home with her drunk father, that part where I was her damn world because no one noticed her.

And that hurt like hell, as I stroked her bare back —Yes, I was cowardly enough to agree to be her first time— reminding me that this was pathetic, that I would hurt her, and the last thing I wanted right now was that, because with her I felt all the love I never received as a child when I needed it most.

Weeks passed. I told Nico I was still trying to win her over, but no, I just wanted more time before ruining everything for money and a little more of the popularity I still had. And that last week, I gave her everything I never thought I could give: love. Too much. I brought her flowers every morning, told her I loved her while kissing her until I forgot all about the stupid bet, and showed her things no one else could because of other people's comments.

I couldn't, I wanted to cancel the deal, I wanted to tell everyone to fuck off just for her, to see that smile all night long, the one that only came out when we were alone and she trusted me.

—You are my world, Tom.

He told me once, my heart was broken even more than it already was.

She was going to find out soon, she was going to hate me, this would all be over, and I would just go on with my life. And it happened. One night she came to my house. I opened the door with a genuine smile for her. I saw her eyes red from holding back tears, and I felt mine turn that color too.

—Is that what I'm worth?

He asked me like that, quietly, hoping that the imbecile Tom Kaulitz would explain things that I couldn't give him.