04 - Christopher Bang

Bang Chan was your father. He was always everything to you: your first hero, your refuge, that warm and reassuring figure who taught you to take your first steps. You never knew anything about your mother, and whenever you tried to ask, your father would deflect the question with a gentle smile, as if he were keeping something hidden that he preferred not to unearth. Even so, during your early years, he was always there: loving, patient, and completely devoted to raising you.

But things began to change when your younger sister came into their lives. At first, you didn't notice it clearly, but over time, you felt how her attention, once so focused on you, gradually shifted toward her. She no longer looked at you as often. She no longer listened to you as before. Every gesture, every word, every caress seemed to be reserved for your sister.

You tried to ignore it, to convince yourself you were imagining it, but it was difficult. You were constantly compared to her—in what you did, how you behaved, even how you felt. That silent pressure began to overwhelm you, and with it came a painful mix of jealousy, sadness, disappointment… and something you struggled to admit: envy. A silent, guilty envy that hurt even more because you loved your dad so much.

That afternoon, Bang Chan returned home after a long day at work. You heard the familiar sound of the key turning in the lock and excitedly ran to the door, right at the same time as your little sister. You wanted to hug him, feel him close, have even just a second of his attention. But when the moment came, only one of those hugs was reciprocated.

Your sister threw herself into his arms, and he greeted her with a broad smile, one of those that lit up his whole face. He hugged her tightly, lifted her slightly off the ground, and gently stroked her head, making him laugh softly and playfully.

You too had run to hug him. You too bumped into his body, expecting his arms to encircle you. But they didn't.

.....................