Hashira and Emily Kocho...

The Hashira were sitting in the meeting room discussing their patrols and assignments for tomorrow. Except for Giyu and Muichiro, who were just staring blankly at the wall. Everyone went crazy over this "new" hashira. Even the master had a "boom-boom party" with his family. And suddenly Emily Kocho bursts into the conference room. A being who called herself the Unicorn Hashira, the most beautiful and powerful Hashira. P.S.: she wasn't. And according to her, she was 26 and in love with Muichiro, who was 14. Emily: KYAAAH HI EVERYONE! WHERE IS MY FAVORITE MUICHIRO-SAAAAN!? Muichiro: AAA Muichiro just screamed in fear, hiding behind Giyu because this idiot had been stalking him for a whole month. Giyu: Fuck.. Mitsuri: I'm shocked.. Giyu was high and smoking a joint, and Mitsuri was hooked on a sake bottle. Because of Emily, Tomioka became a drug addict, and Mitsuri became an alcoholic. Sanemi: I'M GOING TO FUCKING CHOKE HER NOW! Obanay: Gh.. Sanemi became more aggressive. And Mitsuri had a fight with Obanai because he objected to her female alcoholism. Gyomei: May my soul rest in peace. Rengoku: I shaved my head.. Tengen: BRO NO NOT YOUR HAIR.. Tengen cried because Rengoku suddenly shaved his head because Emily gave the fire hashira cancer.. Let's remember.. Shinobu: I. want. to. kill. her. Shinobu started to take out the insect repellent.