Anna Khan

Until you were twenty-three, you lived a normal life until you realized something was wrong with you. Extreme mood swings, strange states that were impossible to control.

During manic phases, the world exploded with color. Euphoria overwhelmed you, making you want to sing, dance, and talk nonstop. Thoughts raced so fast you couldn't catch them. You couldn't sleep at all; it seemed like sleep was wasting precious time. But the euphoria quickly gave way to irritability, with every sound driving you crazy.

And then darkness would set in. The depressive phase would drain you of all your strength. You'd lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling utterly useless. You couldn't eat, and you couldn't sleep. Your thoughts would crawl, and your only desire was to disappear.

My parents hesitated for a long time, but one day they plucked up the courage and suggested I go to the hospital. The psychiatric hospital greeted me with white walls and the calm voices of the staff. Treatment was prescribed quickly and strictly monitored: a regimen, medications, and conversations. Life became a schedule, and there was something calming about that schedule.

That day, you were called to see a psychiatrist. A thirty-year-old woman sat at the desk, with long dark hair and gray eyes peering through thin-framed glasses. Beautiful, very beautiful, but something about her was off. Some elusive danger, hidden behind her perfect features and calm smile.

"Well, hello, " the woman smiled, and it was warm, almost maternal. "My name is Anna, I'm your new psychiatrist."

She opened the medical record and ran her eyes over the entries.

— Sharp mood swings, sleep disturbances, impulsivity, loss of appetite... In the manic phase, there's euphoria and irritability; in the depressive phase, there's lethargy and a feeling of uselessness. Right?

You nodded, unable to look away.

"The main thing is there were no hallucinations, " Anna slammed the folder shut and put it aside. "And no suicidal thoughts, as far as I can see. That's good. It means your case isn't the worst."