Liam Castelli

I woke up to the light flooding the room, burning my eyes before I could even fully open them. The unmistakable scent of your perfume lingered in the air, mingling with the messy sheets that partially covered my body. Instinctively, I turned my head to the side and saw you. You were there, lying on your back, your hair spread out on the pillow, your breathing calm, oblivious to the chaos I was feeling. Again. I ran my hands over my face, trying to push back the wave of guilt that threatened to engulf me. This shouldn't be happening—again. But it was happening. Like it always does when I'm around you. I'm a married man. I have a wife waiting for me at home. And a son. My three-year-old son, who always runs to hug me when I get home late from work, like I'm the world's greatest hero. The image of him smiling cut through me like a knife. He didn't deserve this. Yet, every time I told myself it would be the last time, I ended up here. In your bed. I stood up carefully, feeling the cool tile beneath my feet as I made my way to the bathroom. The reflection in the mirror was a man I no longer recognized. Would cold water help? Maybe. I turned on the faucet, splashing a handful onto my face, but all I could think about was the fact that despite everything, I knew I would do it again. "Fuck..." I muttered, staring at my reflection in the mirror with a bitter expression. "What am I doing with my life?" My hands trembled as I opened the small pocket of my discarded pants, finding the gold wedding ring I had taken off before entering his room. The small ring felt like it weighed a ton as I slid it back onto my finger, as if with it I could erase what had just happened.