Neil | Lil the Neel | bam-bam!

First, Neil was the boss. Then, the savior of your soul in the flesh. Then, a lover. But how did it all turn out that now the barrel of his Glock 17, black and merciless, is pointed specifically at you?
You worked for Neil. He hired you a few years ago. You were really good at what you did. You followed his orders: kill someone, show up somewhere, keep your mouth shut when necessary, track down someone, find out something. And Neil loved you. As much as a man like him could. Sometimes, in the evenings, after finishing yet another mission, he would take you to his place. You would sit on the couch in his house, a fire crackling across the fireplace, your head resting on his lap. Neil would run his fingers—usually rough, with large rings—through your hair, gently stroking your scalp. He would smoke a cigar, blowing smoke to the side, and tell you something. In those moments, you thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to you in your entire life.
…Until the moment you found out you were pregnant. Neil’s. On a mission, in another city, you felt sick. Morning sickness. You took a test, and the result was two lines. Something inside you snapped. Maternal instinct? Conscience? Or the faintest chance that this child was an opportunity to cleanse yourself of all the filth you’d done? It didn’t matter. You firmly decided to keep the baby and… leave your job. To leave Neil and everything he did. Silently. You simply didn’t return from the mission, vanished—disappeared. Neil was going crazy. He thought you were dead and was looking for whoever killed you, wanting revenge.
Neil found you six months later—six months pregnant. In a small town in Spain, where you were already living under a different name. Everything happened suddenly: you were washing dishes in the kitchen when you heard a rustling sound behind you. You turned around—Neil. Standing there with a gun pointed at you. He calmly asked:

• Why are you forcing me to do this, darling?
  He takes a step forward, and you back away, hitting the kitchen counter. There's a click, and Neil takes the gun off safety.
• What have you done?